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Grief Handout – General

Grief Handout

This page houses a handout on grief, created by Counseling and Prevention Services. Scroll down to read the accessible version, and click the button below to download the PDF version.

Accessible Handout Description

Front Side

What to Expect and What to Do When Faced with Loss

Grief reactions are unique to each person and can show up in different ways. In the time following a loss, what you may experience will change as you move through various ways of processing the loss. However, some common reactions include the following:

Emotions
  • Shock
  • Anger
  • Guilt
  • Sadness
  • Loneliness
  • Fear
  • Disbelief
  • Remorse
  • Relief
  • Helplessness
  • Yearning
  • Confusion
  • Anxiety
  • Numbness
  • Resentment
  • Regret
  • Irritability
  • Overwhelmed
Physiological Reactions
  • Change in sleep
  • Change in appetite
  • Low energy
  • Lowered immunity
  • Aches in body
  • Dizziness
  • Difficulty breathing
  • Increased heart rate
Behavioral Responses
  • Withdrawal
  • Increased substance use
  • Changes in responsibilities
  • Difficulty resting
Cognitive Changes
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Disinterest in school or typical activity
  • Confusion
  • Nightmares
  • Greater vigilance to possible threats
  • Intrusive images

Amongst all the changes and your grief reaction, some things that may be helpful to remember or practice include:

  • Do what’s right for you. Go at your own pace. There is no one right to grieve, and you are allowed to feel whatever may come up. Avoid comparing your reactions to those of others.
  • Seek out social supports and spend time with others. You may be surprised at the support and shared sense of loss that can be felt with others impacted. Being around others will also mitigate possible feelings of loneliness.
  • Remember that grief is not linear. While the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) provide a helpful framework of understanding what is happening, these stages do not move cleanly from one to the next for many people.

Back Side

List continues from front side:

  • Express and release your emotions (talking, journaling, crying, art). Intense and
    varied emotions are normal in the face of loss, and when expressed and directed, these
    feelings can help process and cope with grief.
  • Reach out to your faith or spiritual connection. Being able to make meaning from a
    loss or connect to a faith-based understanding of what happens after loss can help in
    accessing supports and processing the loss.
  • Maintain healthy eating and activity levels. Continuing to engage in routines to
    maintain your health is important for giving your body the energy and resources
    necessary to handle the aftereffects and changes in your life as a result of a loss.
  • Refrain from judging others’ responses. Recognize that whether you tend to seek
    active support from others when faced with issues, or tend to consider things on your
    own, it’s important to respect others’ perspectives and provide support at a level and in
    a manner that they desire. Ask others how you can be helpful and what the limits are.
  • Remind yourself that some things are out of your control. After a loss, people often
    try to figure out what they could have done differently or wish that they had done
    something different. Resist letting this guilt take over, and practice accepting what
    you cannot change. Practicing self-compassion and understanding can also be helpful
    in preventing a spiral of remorse.
  • Practice active listening with others. Giving others an opportunity to share their
    experience or vent can be very helpful and healing to both of you, as well as encourage
    greater connection between yourself and the other person.
  • Allow joy and humor into your life. Humor and laughter relieves stress, improves
    mood, and helps us gain a more balanced perspective. Should it come, allow yourself to
    laugh and feel joy.
  • Consider others’ assessments of your well-being. Others close to
    you may be better able to recognize if you are struggling to cope
    with this loss. Listen to their concerns and be open to the
    support they offer.
  • Seek professional help. If you are concerned about your
    grief reaction, would like additional support, or experience
    suicidal thoughts, seeking counseling can help manage
    everything you’re going through. WSU’s Counseling and Prevention
    Services are available at the Steve Clark YMCA, as part of
    the Student Wellness Center. Set up an appointment by
    calling 316-978-4792.

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